Pursuit of Happiness
Written by Kathryn Savage
The pursuit of happiness is nothing new.
The benefits that come from living a satisfied life are varied and far-reaching. Health benefits like stress reduction, the benefits of friendship and fun, these are all great attributes of living a happy, contented life. In a recent issue of Oprah Magazine, "the five things happy people do" are broken down in a great, interesting and practical article. I've included the five suggestions for you to read here.
Happy people find their most “golden” self.
What does that mean? Researchers suggest that finding “eudaimonic well-being” - I’ll explain that in a moment, is more important than fantasy bliss - I’ll explain that now. What I call fantasy bliss is another way of saying you pursue “hedonic” pleasures as opposed to goal oriented pleasures.
Picturing happiness as your mugshot stamped on warm sun-kissed hammock on a tropical island, sipping that pitch perfect margarita is not as true a fast track to bliss as “striving toward excellence based on one's unique talents and potential," the definition of eudaimonia.
So instead of hitting the mall for the latest trends, vacationing frequently and dining out at the hottest restaurants - all really, really fun "hedonic" pleasures - the best way to find your most “golden” self - your happiest you, is more easily achieved by following the "eudaimonic" path to well-being, meaning, spend more time exploring your unique talents and reaching for your unique goals.
Eudaimonic Bliss List
What are some things you really enjoy doing? Make a list and start to work your way through it. Increase the positive, deliberate choices you make everyday. Like to read? Set aside just half an hour four times a week. You will be amazed by the number of books you've devoured after one month!
Happy people avoid “if only” fantasies
And I quote: “if only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking.”
It’s this thing called "hedonic adaptation"— which is the brains way of making that new pair of designer denim less flattering six months after purchase. People “misjudge” the things that make them happy focusing in on certain aspects - bigger car, nicer house, smaller waist, it’s called “the focusing illusion.” The problem with "the focusing illusion" is somehow, everything new is old again. We people get bored. With everything. What can you do? Embrace your natural desire for spice and mix up old activities and try new ones. Love hiking? Try a new trail, love camping? Try a new camp site. Never been to Europe? Start saving for a trip. Never tried Ethiopian food? Try a recipe or a restaurant in your area. You don't have to make drastic changes like sell your house and go blonde, but small nudges towards variety make day to day life much more exciting.
Happy people put friends first
In Okinawa, circles of lifelong friends meet in the evening to drink sake and talk about their lives. Some Okinawan centenarians have socialized with the same group of friends for over ninety years! Friendship and social connection is one of the most important factors for living a long and happy life. According to research led by Meliksah Demir, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Northern Arizona University, the friendships that give you the most healthful benefits are those that you nurture with close long-term friends. The great thing about long-term bonds is there is no facade, no pretext, so next chance you get call up your best friend, go grab a glass of wine and just talk, it's bliss.
Happy people allow themselves to be happy
Ever notice how sometimes it's easier to focus on the negative than the positive? You go for a great run, the sun is shining and then you step in a big pile of dog crap and on the drive home someone honks at you for no reason? There are a lot of big and small frustrations that affect us all daily. So strive to enjoy the things in your life that bring you real bliss. Playing with your kids, you pets, savoring a really good cup of coffee or phone call from a loving friend. Focus on the good and let the happy stuff in. We all deserve to be our happiest, most contented selves.
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